SLOW

I hate dial-up. Hate!

Winky

I will kill him

Hates Socks

Poor sad Socks

i can has poetry?

I Can Has Wasteland

so sad cat

I miss my Noey

...

















NOT!

flip flopping on the issues

As cat of the house it is my sworn duty to guard these flip flops from other cats. I will not allow them to come to harm. I shall guard them.... mmmm tasty flip flops. ... chomp chomp chomp

nap cat

being a cat is exhausting.

i require a nap.

or 2

cold cat

Why do the people lock me outside on the deck? Last night they went away and left me outside and I was sad forever cat. Luckily my warm heart kept me alive.

No love for Desicat

affection

Cats only love in the morning-time when they are weakest. After that, disavow all knowledge.

Bath Time

Normally I despise water, but when it is a lime-flavored bath in the cooler I will tolerate it. Also, I fell asleep in the bath, I mean cooler.

Clean clothes

Laundry is good for napping. That is why it is on the recliner near the windows. It is warm and cozy. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

Slackers

No one ever empties my litter pan. My humans are SO FIRED!!!

sad cat at night

night time makes me sad
so i have to sing sad songs
loudly
until the people wake up

Izzard Cat

You stroke a dog, the dog goes, “oooooooo…” and cats go (purring/drilling sound), because they’re drilling, aren’t they? That’s what they’re doing. They’re drilling, they drill for gold! They drill for oil, they drill for anything! Just for the love of drilling! When they’re behind your sofa, they’re just drilling. (mimes drilling) They’ve got goggles on, it’s okay! There’s a compressor over there...Your friends come and say, “I think your cat’s drilling behind your sofa!” “I don’t think so, that’s purring, that noise, isn’t it? Cat, are you drilling?” And the cat hears this, whips off the goggles, (mimes coming from behind the sofa), “No, no… Drilling? No! No, I’m a cat! How would I know how to drill? That’s purring you’re thinking of, purring! Oh, yes, purring! Having a good ole purr back here… no drilling. No, no, okay… “ (mimes putting goggles back on and resuming drilling) Sometimes they drill 40, 50 feet, you
know, just for the hell of it.

gah

why is their a coolr out here? there is not room enuf for me and a cooler on the deck

stupid coolr

Working at the Cat Wash

http://www.basicinstructions.net/2006/09/how-to-wash-cat.html

suitcases

Suitcases are good for sleeping. Also they can't leave you sad and lonely if they can't pick up the suitcase. Genius cat plan.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Too sleepy for blogging ... must rest .... so much work .... being a cat ....zzzzzzzzzzzz

Cat of Death

Oscar the Grouch

Cat Door

Why is there not a cat flap or cat door cut into the sliding glass door? Everyone around here is a slacker except me.

Cat Brother

The Man wanted to make an alliance with me against the Woman, but I am not interested who gets voted out of the apartment. It won't be me. I am awesome.

Sssh I am sleepin

We have loud neighbors!

Schmitty Cat

Schmitty Cat is a human sympthazier and likely collaborator, an embarassment to all cat kind

catfight

raawwrrrr
http://www.pizdaus.com/pics/gN9yC5cmfuUx.jpg

Sloth

The People sleep too often. Lazy bums.

I need a new scratching post

This one's ripped

no harry potter for Desi?

No one bought me a movie ticket. So sad forever.

no kitties

So sad cuz I can't have lil cat babies.

hellboy 2

Cats in the Movies

Rats!

and parasites

Chomp chomp

I need to bite something. Where is that woman and her ankles?

Genetically Superior

In Every Way
Read Articlez

So many windows

So little time!

Arrogant birds, sing while you can .....

slow day

Where do the People go all day?

They must be sad somewhere without me.

dis-shelved

The woman is complaining about a lack of reading material so I slept on the bookshelves waiting to ambush her when she came looking again..... no luck yet. but soon!

Mah Blogs

http://tunteella.xerc.biz/1117.jpg

the articlez texts

Police

the cops were here next door but they did not hear me meowing to get out .....

Deck

The deck is a cage for cats, but at least it is outside. The woman left the sliding door open all night. If she does it again, maybe we will have a cat party. If I can find some cat friends here.

At least Starscream hasn't found me.

Mrow

I know why the caged cat meows.

mobile cat

If we're going to keep moving all the time, I'm just going to sleep here near the door on this moving box so I will be ready.

Locked Up

Don't be lockin me up in the bedroom. I'll scratch a bea.

Where are we?

The People took me away from my home and all my cat friends and now I am sad all day.

So I broke that Woman's star lamp (the 2nd one I broke!) and some other valuables.

At least there are fun boxes to sit on here at the new house. So sad forever cat.

At least that Mr. Boozy won't find me here. Loser.

Mr. Boozy

I hear you outside. What did I tell you? Get on out of here.

rabbit stew

Don't worry. I chased away the rabbit!

Jell-No

Urgh. I think there's something wrong with the Jell-O in the fridge. Woooaahh... Yech.

Filing

Why did the People pick up all the receipts? I filed them all over the floor for them. Ungrateful humans!

Cat Dancing

my cat dance brings all the toms to the yard

Booz-Bum

Starscream, I mean Mr. Boozy was here earlier and he rolled around in the dirt and then walked off. He didn't even speak to me.

Not that I care. Jerk.

No More Parties in There

With the People home all the time I can't have cat parties. Bogus. They should go do "plays."

Purring

The Woman does not like it when the Man snores. But I like it. It is like purring. It is good for sleeping. I love the Man more than she does.

Also, the laptop computer is back which means good naps, warm naps.

So Cold

Where is the laptop? Where is it? I need to sleep. And this other computer sucks for blogging.

Treats

My food dish was full of treats instead of food. I ate them all ... and now I don't feel so good.

Catsick!

Treats

My food dish was full of treats instead of food. I ate them all ... and now I don't feel so good.

Catsick!

bottles

hey what is this in the crisper??

Sleeps

I steal the blankets and covers from the People when they are asleep. They each blame the other. Haha! Mmm.... warm and snuggly.

Napkins

These paper napkins don't belong on the table. Why would someone put them here? They go on the floor.

Treats

Hellooo! I am scratching on the scratching post. I am so hungry. No one ever feeds me. So sad cat.

Starscream

Another "Have you seen my Cat?" poster was up by the mailboxes. It must be a fad. I think this one was for Starscream, who looks just like me. However, it listed his name as Mr. Boozy/Buddy. The Boozy part sounds right. That crazy cat is at every cat party and is always wondering up to my front door at 3 in the morning and telling me how much he loves me. Loser.

Access Denied

The People put a bookshelf in one of my escape tunnels. They shall pay with scratched feet while they sleep. How can I careen at top speed around the house without escape tunnels?

Lil Orphan Chasey

It turns out that vile black no tail cat belongs to someone else in this apartment complex. There was a "have you seen my cat?" posted in the mail room. Goodbye, Chase-Face. No more cat parties for you.

The Woman

That Woman came back!!! What?? I thought I got rid of her. Drat.

Chasey Chase Chase

The black no-tail cat has a new name the Neighbor gave her. The name is Princess Persephone Chases Squirrels. This is a combination of Princess, Persephone, and Chase which were the skank's three previous titles.

I have but one name and it is Desdemona the Destructor, Deliverer of a Thousand Dooms. My parents liked alliteration. What can I say??

Stupid No-Tail cat.....

Tires

Better than a scratching post is a car tire. Sharpens those claws good.

Powder

Why is the ground white and cold???

Door Guard

Don't worry I am guarding the door. As long as my eyes don't ... get ... heavy ... zzzzzzzzzz.....

What is it???

I will get it. Something is hiding under the bills on the floor of the living room. I will not allow it to go uninvestigated. Attack I must and without hesitation.

Catsick

Stupid black no tail cat threw up.. I never throw up. because I am awesome. just ask me

Book Spider

The woman was afraid of a spider yesterday. I could have killed it, but you know I was doing important stuff. Cat stuff mostly. I was not scared. I totally had it on my to-do list.

Yarn Cave

Yarn drawers are good for sleeping. I will have to attack whatever is on the couch later. Eyes too heavy.....

Princess

The black No Tail Cat can't take me in a fair fight but relies on sneak attacks! Pitiful. Revenge shall be mine.